"I was almost in utter ruin In the midst of the assembly and congregation."
Proverbs 5:14 This is the final statement made by the one who is lamenting their sexual sin of adultery. It is filled with a tremendous amount of regret - and yet even in this cry of horror over sin, there is hope for those who will be instructed by it. First we have a warning to those who think that adultery and sexual sin only inhabit the world outside the church. This person - David - said that he was almost to the point of utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation. To think that the devil, the flesh, and the world only are problems for those outside the church is to set yourself up for ruin. David experienced these things "IN THE MIDST OF THE ASSEMBLY AND CONGREGATION." Oh, how we need to take heed from this statement that we are not beyond the reach of sin just because we go to church. The fact is that we are WELL WITHIN THE REACH OF SIN no matter where we are on earth. David unfortunately forgot this as he walked upon the roof of his house in Jerusalem. He forgot that it was the time when kings should be going out to war. He forgot that even if he was king - he needed to be doing God's bidding rather than his own. He forgot that being lazy and undisciplined will cost us in the end. He forgot that being in the wrong place at the wrong time - will lead to wrong actions. God never promises to us a "place" where we can be safe from all temptation and sin. There is NO place on earth where this exists. No matter where you go on earth - there will be temptation and there will be a need to draw near to God and look to Him for protection. There is only a "person" of safety - and that is the Lord our God. When we draw near to Him we find deliverance and safety. When we walk with Him and turn to Him - we are with the Only One Who can deliver us from all our temptations and sins. If David had remembered this he would have realized that he was in far greater danger at home without the presence of God in his life - than if he were in the midst of a fierce battle with God there within. The one thing that grants me hope in reading this verse is the word "almost." One would think that David would have been utterly ruined by his adultery. Please do not misunderstand that he was going to have to pay a very heavy price before this was over. He would lose no less than 4 children in this situation. He would have 10 concubines raped by his own son in broad daylight in front of all Israel. His kingdom would be divided and many would lose their lives in battles that would ensue. The losses would be huge - and yet it was "almost" utter ruin. God offers grace and forgiveness even in the most horrible of situations. David took advantage of this grace and fell upon the mercies of God in the end. God would forgive him and restore him to the joy of his salvation. Truly this is one of the most amazing stories of mercy and grace in all the Scriptures. Yet, David, in offering this glimmer of hope in the midst of his cry of despair still is warning us - pleading with us to remember him. He is pleading with us to remember the high cost of adultery and unfaithfulness to God's call for purity in our lives. May we see both the warning and the wonder of this passage. A warning against adultery and sexual sin - and the wonder of God's grace and forgiveness that can save us even in the worst of sitautions and circumstances.
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"I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, Nor inclined my ear to my instructors!" Proverbs 5:13
There are consequences for sexual sin in the lives of those who commit it. These two verses in Proverbs chapter 5 relate to us what some of these consequences are for the immoral person. What is fascinating is that these two things are not exactly on the what's what list for sexual immorality - and yet they are both problems that will come for those who practice this kind of lifestyle and choice in life. It would be wise for us to briefly remember the context of these verses. These are in the context of a father warning a son not to consort with prostitutes and with women who commit adultery. The warnings are dire but are in no way hyperbole. The things being said to this young man are true warnings and they contain true consequences for his actions. This is why the one who commits adultery later laments that he did not listen to the voice of his teachers - nor pay attention of incline his ear to hear how they were seeking to instruct him. There is very real ruin and disgrace that attends adultery. Anyone who has watched a marriage and a family disintegrate under the weight of it knows this to be true. Yet, even with all the examples that we have before us of these things, men and women still enter into relationships and commit adultery. The siren call of pleasure drowns out the voice of teachers and instructors who have warned them of the rocky shores upon which they will wreck their lives and the lives of their families. The only cry they will lift is unfortunately the one that comes from the battered survivors who cry in pain in the midst of their wreckage. That is what we have here before us - the cry of the destroyed. I did not listen to my teachers! I did not incline my ear to my instructors! I am ruined due to my sin and my indiscretions! The cries come from the rocks and from the ruins of lives that have ventured too far into those dangerous waters. They have ignored the warning of the lighthouse of Scripture that tells them what will happen. Rebellious and unteachable - their lesson will only be learned the hard way. They will add their names to the long list of cautionary characters who faced ruin in opposing and thinking they can get past the Scriptures and God's warnings. All this can seem like too much - but tomorrow we will see a ray of hope in what is said in verse 14. So if you are on the verge of despair - there is hope - there is mercy - and there is grace! This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, And says, "I have done no wrong." Proverbs 30:20
One of the worst aspects of sexual sin is the way that is blinds us to the truth. Here we have a proverb dealing with the women who commits adultery. Her way is to indulge her sin as one would sit down to a big meal - then wipe her mouth afterwards and boldly state that she has done nothing wrong. She is completely blind and arrogantly unmoved by her actions and by the Word of God which proclaims them wicked. We are living in the days of sin that looks just like this. We have those who live openly in their sin - and argue that such a lifestyle choice is not sin. God has proclaimed that adultery is sin - and that commandment from the time of Moses still stands this day without having been weakened in the slightest. Some might protest that Jesus forgave the woman caught in the very act of adultery. I would agree - but would add that after he gave her the most gracious forgiveness, He also stated to her that she should go her way and SIN NO MORE. When He gave her grace - it was the grace of God that teaches us NOT TO SIN. It was not grace that condoned sin. And just in case some have forgotten the rest of the gospel - He eventually bore her sin to calvary's cross and paid the full measure of God's wrath for it. When a society begins to weaken its moral stances on adultery and sexual sin, it is preparing that society for horrible consequences. When that lax morality reaches the point where adulterous women and men are allowed to embrace their wickedness while openly proclaiming that they've done nothing wrong - such a society is at the breaking point. It cannot stand much longer because its very foundations are crumbling to the ground. Please pray for the United States - praying for revival in the church and awakening among the lost. We've abandoned our moral underpinnings handed down to us from our forefathers. We need for God to first revive His church so that we will once again hold fast to biblical morals - regardless of what is currently morally in style in our nation. Unless this work of revival happens among us first, there will be no awakening among the lost. We must put our moral house in order - dealing with our sexual sins. Then we will have the moral authority to speak to our nation - to pray for our nation - and to witness the people of our nation return to the Lord and to the sanity of sexual morality. May God have mercy on us - and revive and restore us in this most desperate of days. Take his garment when he becomes surety for a stranger; And for foreigners, hold him in pledge. Proverbs 20:16
It is probably a little shocking to us in the West how often the Word of God talks about the issue of surety. We are not used to such strong words regarding debt and regarding guaranteeing the debt of others. But then again this shouldn't be too shocking because as a nation we are a debt loving people. We have over 14 trillion dollars in government debt and are one of the worst debtor nations in the world. The people of the United States are not much better having become one of the richest nations in the world - but deceptively - on the basis of debt rather than real wealth. It might be wise for us to learn from the Scriptures on this matter because God warns in Isaiah about those who become rich with loans. This kind of wealth is not wealth at all. First of all you don't own anything when you "own" it with debt - the bank owns it. If you want to test this theory try missing payments on your "so-called" wealth - and find out how quickly the bank will eventually come and prove who owns what. Second, when you become wealthy with debt - you are paying much more for what you are buying than what it is worth. I remember when my family went to sign for our house loan. I was horrified when I saw that I was paying close to triple what the house actually cost to buy it with a loan. That was an eye-opening experience for me. The problem with going surety for someone else is that you are in effect giving a guarantee that you will pay their debt if they do not. To counter this our society has something called collateral, which is something of value that is put up to secure the debt. When you have collateral you don't have surety - because if the person defaults on their debt, you can take the collateral to pay for what they do not pay. Good collateral is when you have something close to equal in value to what is borrowed. Here in this proverb though, we have a situation where someone does not have sufficient collateral for their loan - and therefore all they have is their garment. God's Word forbids taking a man's "cloak" overnight because for the poor this was all they wrapped themselves in to protect from the cold. Yet what we see here is that we are told that when a man becomes surety for a stranger - to even take his garment - and when he does this for a foreigner - to hold him in pledge for what he has foolishly guaranteed. The teaching here is that there has to be a price for foolishness - and especially foolishness with money. But there is a more sinister possibility here that we need to examine. Several commentators see this word "stranger" as a sign that this loan was also given because of an involvement with an alluring woman. If you remember elsewhere in the book of Proverbs, the prostitute is often called a "strange woman." There is a warning then here given especially to men who deal with money. That warning is not to be pulled into giving money because we are taken by a woman's alluring appeal. We all know of the scenes where a woman uses her sexual appeal to get what she wants. This statement is possibly given to warn men to steel their hearts when an attractive woman comes for an appeal. We are to loan money on the basis of wisdom - not in response to our glands and egos. God gives to each of us a provision - and that provision is meant to be used according to the wisdom that He has given in His Word. We MUST be careful to follow biblical financial principles. When we vary from them we will face loss and face difficult times because we did not listen to His wisdom or follow it. We need to realize how often the book of Proverbs offers to us God's take on financial matters - and follow His wisdom to the place of His blessing and protection. If we do not, we may lose our shirt - or at least our garment. For jealousy enrages a man, And he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
Proverbs 6:34 Adultery is always stupid. This is never more clearly seen than in the reality of the reaction of the husband who has learned that his wife has committed adultery with another man. His reaction toward that man is predictable. He reacts with jealousy - in fact what is written here is that he reacts with enraged jealousy. Jealousy, which is referred to in this proverb, is the Hebrew word "qinah." This word means zeal or jealousy. It describes an intense passion and fervor. It describes an emotion that is greater than wrath or anger. Scripture calls this jealousy a rottenness in a man's bones (Prov. 14:30). It is used to speak of a spirit of jealousy that comes upon a man in Numbers 25:11. But the frightening description of this word is that it is used of God's zeal which He has toward his own people - and which He has for accomplishing His own will and purpose. The word is used six different times to speak of the way God's wrath is expressed in judgment. This is a strong word - and is made even stronger by the fact that it is used in connection with the word, "enrages." This word is the Hebrew word "hemah" and it means wrath or heat. It signifies great fury, anger, indignation, poison , or rage. When put together these two words create quite a terrifying description of the emotions that come over a man who learns of an adulterer seeking to destroy his relationship with his wife. This enraged jealousy moves this man to seek the maximum penalty for adultery. I've watched this in court battles and divorces. The injured party, when given over to this enraged jealousy, wants to make the other person pay everything possible. There is a desire for them to truly pay the highest price possible for their indiscretion. They want a "day of vengeance." That is why adultery is always stupid. It always injures someone - and makes for emotions that rival any in life. The wise man sees this and realizes that no promise of sexual pleasure will ever match the release of rage, anger, and wrath that will come when their deeds become known. Men do not despise a thief if he steals To satisfy himself when he is hungry; But when he is found, he must repay sevenfold; He must give all the substance of his house. Proverbs 6:30-31
Adultery is always stupid. In fact adultery here is being called dumber than stealing. We are offered a comparison between these two sins - and in the end, adultery is considered the worse of the two. This passage is interesting, because although it does compare stealing and adultery, it does not condone either. The comparison is to how the theif is viewed vs. the view of the adulterer. The thief is actually shown compassion, especially if his stealing is due to being hungry. The passage tells us that a thief is not despised if he steals to satisfy his own hunger. We all understand hunger and the drive to satisfy our appetite when we have not eaten in a while. The thing about this proverb though is that after saying this - we are brought back to justice. If caught though, the thief will have to repay sevenfold for what he has stolen. This is the case even if the thief has to given everything in his house to pay that debt. There is mercy toward his situation - but not mercy toward the actions he took to remedy it. But the adulterer is by default NOT given the same grace. We all probably know lust as well - but to actually go out and take another man's wife to satisfy it is wickedness. The adultery is also guilty of stealing - stealing the sanctity of another man's marriage. He is stealing another man's wife - taking her affections - and taking from him the vows that were made to him in the sight of God. This is not viewed with a gracious attitude here. Whereas a thief is not despised for his actions to alleviate his hunger - the adultery IS despised for taking another man's wife. If justice falls on the hungry man for his stolen food, how much more will God's justice fall on the adultery for stealing the sacredness of marriage and a home? There is going to be a cost - and that cost is high. Ask David and Bathsheba what that cost involves. They will tell you that the cost far outweighs the pleasure of the moment. Ask David's family who also paid a high price for the attitude toward marriage and sexuality that was unfortunately passed in that family? Ask Samson if it was worthy his two eyes to commit sexual sin and satisfy his lusts in ungodly ways? Ask the people of Sodom and Gomorrah whether it was worth it to despise God's plan for marriage and go their own way? These are all examples of those who had to pay - and some pay with the very substance of their house. Adultery costs - and to think that we can get around that cost is ignorant. That is why dear saints, "Adultery is always stupid." The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; He who would destroy himself does it. Proverbs 6:32
This passage deals with the stupidity of committing adultery, plain and simple. Several years ago Randy Alcorn wrote a book called, "The Purity Principle." In it I felt that Alcorn made a statement that is one for the ages. "Purity is always smart, impurity is always stupid." That is what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell us today in Proverbs. "The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense." This is a very genteel way of saying what Alcorn said. We could restate his principle by saying that faithfulness in marriage is always good, adultery is always stupid. The actual words used here are the ones that are used often in Proverbs. The one who commits adultery with a woman lacks heart. We are being told that adultery shows that we have a heart problem more than anything else. We've allowed our hearts to be captured by lust and sexual immorality rather than by God. While reading a series of purity prayers I've run into the statement again and again where the puritans asked God to capture their heart so that they would not be satisfied by trifling affections. The heart can be captured in this way - and given to things that are so far less than what God wants to give us. The truth is what He wants to give us in Himself. We settle for so much less and so less fulfilling things than Him. And that is what the fool has done - he has settled for adultery rather than finding in God and in His provision of his wife true fulfillment. We are also warned in this passage that, ". . . he who would destroy himself does it." The literal Hebrew says that the destruction is in this man's soul. He finds his mind strangely drawn and lied to by the enticements of the adulterous woman. He finds his emotions stimulated by a false love and false promises of intimacy and pleasure. As he foolishly begins to embrace these thoughts and these concepts he also begins to lose the war within his will to continue in God's ways and in God's path. Soon he gives in to the onslaught that is coming toward his soul. He no longer lives out of his spirit - where the Spirit of God would give him strength to resist and overcome temptation - but instead allows himself to be taken over by his body and its lusts. As he does this He submits himself to the adultery - and in so doing he "destroys" himself in the process and the sinful choice. Destroy here is the Hebrew word, "sahat" and it means to spoil, ruin, destroy, pervert, or corrupt. When you look at these ways of translating this word they all fit this passage - and all take place as this man acts foolishly by committing adultery. For the next several days we will look at the terrible consequences and the wise warnings that God gives us in this area. Remember that this entire conversation is one that takes place between a man and his sons. How wise we would be to have this kind of conversation with our sons as they get older and begin to face the temptations of this present world. How wise we would be to also have these kinds of conversations with our adult sons who are married, as well as with our brothers in Christ with whom we share fellowship in God's church. Since these things are written about so many times in Proverbs - it is a reminder that the wise also warn one another with the very warnings given to us by God. "Whoever is naive, let him turn in here," And to him who lacks understanding she says, "Stolen water is sweet; And bread eaten in secret is pleasant." Proverbs 9:16-17
Up to this point we have only had limited information upon which to examine Folly's call to us. We have had to use our understanding and insight to see that such a call is detrimental to us. But when we come to verse 16 of this passage we no longer have the slightest doubt that the call to foolishness is a call to wicked, sinful choices and to a life embracing deception and lies. "Stolen water is sweet." This is the statement that Folly offers to us. This is her advice to those seeking to make their paths straight in life. This phrase is actually saying to us that stolen water is sweeter than water that you have by normal legal means. We are being told that there is something about immoral, illegal behavior that makes the water taste just better than it normally does. The quest of stealing it adds something - maybe a sense of adventure and risk - that just drinking your own water does not provide. There is a biblical allusion here that Keil and Delitzsch offer that is fascinating to me. A passage in Proverbs chapter 5 is mentioned where we are told to "Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well." (Proverbs 5:15). What is counselled here is that drinking stolen water or water that is NOT from your own spring or well - is compared to adultery. If that is the case here in Proverbs chapter 9, then this passage explodes with meaning - and warning. Folly will encourge you to drink sexually from a fountain other than that of your own marriage. Adultery and fornication are being encouraged. Steal a drink from your neighbor's marriage - or from an unmarried woman's life - that kind of sex is far more sweet than being faithful to your own marriage. This is wicked counsel of the worst order! Whether or not this refers to stealing water - or adultery and fornication - either way, Folly is out to destroy us. The second thing she says to us is that ". . . bread eaten in secret is pleasant." Here again Follly is saying to us that we need to be deceptive. Simply eating bread with family or friends is not enough. We need to be eating bread in secret - which intimates that we are doing something that necessitates hiding from others. Anyone with an eating or drinking problem will tell you that when you begin to hide your eating or drinking from others and do it secretly - you've got a serious problem. When I sneak a cookie - or buy some kind of food I know I shouldn't be eating - it is amazing how often I eat this food away from the sight of family - who lovingly would warn me that eating that way is not the healthiest choice for me. The sad thing is that Folly is lying to us. She is saying to us that even the water and the food taste different when we sin in eating and drinking it. Normal living, holy living - is a drag - and only people who are boring live that way all the time. Live on the edge - do something out of the ordinary - live for yourself a little. These are the messages of the fool - and they are heard and heeded by other fools. Amazingly - the truth is that God sees you even when you drink your stolen water - when you commit adultery in secret - or when you eat your bread hidden from the sight of others. God sees - and He will eventually expose you and show your folly. It is far better to live in open obedience - than to listen to lies that secret sin is better. This, though, is something about which we must absolutely warn our children. These lies WILL come to them and it would be much to their benefit to be able to recognize them as lies when they arrive. A wise father will take these things to heart and will take the time to faithfully teach his children to avoid them. Do not let them depart from your sight; Keep them in the midst of your heart. Proverbs 4:21
The father next reminds his sons that what is before his eyes will be what eventually dominates his choices. He reminds him to not let the sayings he gives him - and the Scripture upon which they are based to depart from his eyes. There is so much in our society that tries desperately to grab the attention of our eyes. Even though we may place the Word of God and the commandments of God before the eyes of our children, they must be warned that there will be a concerted effort to have their eyes drawn away from such things. Think about the advertising business for a moment with me. They spend millions of dollars researching just what images have the greatest impact. Each year during the Super Bowl, companies spend over a million dollars for 30-60 seconds just to get the greatest impact upon the eyes of those who watch that event. They do it becuase they want the images and the thoughts that come with them to stick with us. And to be honest with ourselves, we have to admit that the majority of those images and messages run contrary to the Word of God. This is why we need to impress upon our sons the importance of not letting God's commandments and God's Word depart from our sight. People ask me why I urge people to have a DAILY quiet time where they read and meditate upon God's Word. It is because when they walk out the door to begin their day, they need that word impressed and engraved upon their very souls and hearts. That is what the father says here to his son. Keep these words - these sayings - these quotations in your heart! There will be hundreds of messages a day that will run contrary to them - seeking to have us live for something that is 180 degrees counter to God's will for our lives. But do not let these images and these things dominate your sight - keep your eyes fixed on the Word of God - and the wil of God as it is expressed to you there. Remember the number of times we are warned of the wiles of the immoral woman. Almost every time that warning includes a warning not to let ourselves be captured by her appearance. 1 John 2:15-17 warns as well that one of the things we will face consistently is a temptation to live by the lust of our eyes. Proverbs 23:26 and the verses that follow it are a similar appeal, "Give me your heart, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways." This appeal comes moments before the father warns his son of the dangers of the immoral woman and her appeal to his eyes - and the way that alcohol appeals to the eyes as we look into glass as it is placed before us. The eyes are the portal to our souls. If we look long enough and hard enough at something it can have a powerful affect upon us. This works both ways with us. Paul told the Corinthians that as we gaze on the glory of the Lord - we can be transformed into that same glory as the Holy spirit works within us. Dads, focus your sons on the Word - and warn them about the ways that their eyes will be used against their own best interests. Don't hide from them the way that the world will make its appeal. Call them to fix their eyes on the Word of God - so that the Word they see will move through their sight into their hearts where it will transform them more and more to God's ways and God's character. What they see will affect them. Make sure they know that in this battle for their soul, the one thing to keep before them is God's Word. The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; He who is cursed of the LORD will fall into it. Proverbs 22:14
Here is a take in Proverbs that turns conventional wisdom on its ear. It has to do with the adulteress - and with the man who seems to be having all the so-called success with the ladies. Whereas the world wants us to think that this ladies man has it made - the Word of God here in Proverbs has a much different take on his status. The adulteress, as we've learned in previous verses (5:3 and 7:5) catches men with her mouth. Her enticing words draws them in - and prevents them from seeing that they are not stepping into pure pleasure - but rather a trap. Here, in keeping with the previous warnings, is another statement that her mouth is a deep pit. Such pits where used for capturing animals and killing or making them slaves of the one who caught them. These pits were usually covered with camouflage to make their presence unknown until the animal stepped into them. By that time it was too late - they were either caught or dead. The same is true of the adulteress. She will hide her real intent with compliments and appeals to the ego of the fool she is trying to catch. He, being a fool, does not see the danger in another man's wife giving him praise. In the end, he falls for the deception and later falls into the trap. This is not new to us - but the fact that now for at least the third time a warning is given about this should make us very cautious when a woman other than our wife begins giving us compliments and starts stroking our ego. What I find shocking about this passage is the second statement made here. "He who is cursed of Jehovah will fall there." The reason that this is shocking is because we are told that one of the ways we can know that God has cursed someone - is that they are involved in sexual immorality - and even more so - that they are so involved in an adulterous affair. The world shows us the quintisential ladies man - and then says to us that this man is blessed. He has the ladies lining up for him. We are told that he can have any woman he wants - and that this is a sign of being blessed. The truth is much different - as it always is when it comes to the lies of the world and of Satan. Contrary to this worldly view - the man who is involved in sexual immorality with someone else's wife - is cursed of God. This is one of the ways that God brings His curse upon men. He allows them to enter into such foolish sexual sin. Think about this for a moment. Since this is true - then we should consider the sexual studs of the world - stupid. We should look at the playboys that are held up for honor and respect - men who are worthy only of shame and disgrace. We should see men like High Hefner not as models for us - but as morons. This are not men of honor - but examples of horror! The man who falls into sexual immorality is CURSED OF GOD! Wow! There is a turn of things for all of humanity. The wise man does not follow the world in its estimation of who is to be counted as worthy and who is worthless. These things are ultimately decided by God - Who has given us His estimation of things in His Word. If therefore the Word tells us those whom the world calls blessed are cursed - know that they are cursed indeed. Therefore the best thing we can do is reject the worldly ideas of manhood and a life worth living, and give ourselves to how our God views this world. |
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